lifes a bitch

whats the fucking point. i havent seen you yet since we started dating, everytime i ask to hang out you always go hang out with other people.. even if ive asked first! if you dont wanna hang out with me why are you with me… im getting tired of not being important enough! especially when youve been hanging with one of these people like 3-4 times a week since we started dating again… but yet, there is never any time for your boyfriend.. fuck it why do i try at all!

i need to rant.. i hate drugs in my personal life.. friends is something i cant control, but i cant deal with drug use in people im with. i just cant, it depresses me, makes me feel like im better off dead, makes me feel like im helpless and hopeless. my family is so drug filled i just cant deal with it! my sister is addicted to oxys and other hard drugs, her boyfriend is a drug dealer, my cousin deals and has been expelled, put in juvy, drug rehabilitation centers, and my other cousin dropped out to do and deal drugs.. like fuck drugs! im tired of them being a controlling factor in my life. i cant deal with it. and because you decided to do them again while knowing all this, it makes me feel like im fucking pointless. im suicidal again, ive cut up my ankles to shreds, and i dont know what happiness is anymore! the whole world can go fuck itself, im done with this drug shit. and i wont tolerate it in who im with! i just cant…